Casting Call!! Gundam Wing
by Ainulindale
Summary: So, you think you have what it takes to act in Gundam Wing? Here are the new and exciting roles available:
1. Bulletin! News!

**__**

Casting Call:

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Gundam Wing Extras

So, you think you have what it takes to act in a high-caliber series such as Gundam Wing?

Well, here are the exciting new openings we have for the most important roles that bind the entire series together! The Extras!!

It is recommended to have health and/or life insurance, and kidnap and ransom insurance. 

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Acting in Gundam Wing can lead to memory loss, temporary or permanent insanity, hearing loss, paranoia, or the symptoms of pyromania.

Now, on to the roles!!

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Random Colony citizen:

Either: 

  1. Stand around and ignore Duo as he screams in the middle of a crowded street.
  2. Protest the Winner family's rule. 

For these roles, not being a fan of the show is an asset. 

****

Random Aristocrat

Wear snazzy Victorian outfits!! (mothballs included)

Drink wine and/or champagne!! (must be of legal drinking age or have persuasive fake ID)

Stare intently at random speakers!! (hypnosis available)

The perks of this role are that the most difficult manual task is that you **_may_ **be required to clap. 

Now, if you do not have the "dissatisfied fish" stare that we are seeking for the Random Aristocrat, you might have the qualifications for a speaking role. 

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Random Soldier, 2nd Class:

Sit in a mobile suit!!

Look like a pro!!

Get blasted to smithereens by the Gundam of your choice!! *choice not included

Sample lines:

  1. "Aaaah! A Gundam!"
  2. "It's a Gundam! Aaah!"
  3. "Aaaah!"

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* must have life insurance, in case of main actors losing their grip on reality. Personal will kit included.

And our final role in today's casting call:

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Random Manguenac:

You get to wear a funky little red hat! Use the costume shops, or create your own from out selection of quality construction paper!

Occasional sunglasses, and you get to be with Quatre!

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* extremely limited number of female roles

Sample lines:

  1. Cheer whenever Quatre speaks
  2. "Yes, Master Quatre."

Auditions will take place February 30th, AC 195, in the Cinq kingdom. Cinq Vacations: Get your tan from the sun not a gun.

Finis.

Trowa: …..

Quatre: That was….interesting…

Random Manguenacs: * cheer * 

Quatre: O.o

Random Soldier: "It's a Gundam!!" 

Duo: You need more of that gut wrenching terror, now try it again.

You have just read a fic of mine. Thank you thank you thank you!! 

Disclaimer:

Inventory of what I own:

Two pairs of socks

A toothbrush

A box of chocolate

Triangle hi-lighter

A cat

Things I don't own:

Microsoft

Princess Mononoke on video

An Elephant

This computer

Gundam Wing


	2. Have you had enough yet? No???

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Casting Call #2:

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Gundam Wing: Roles with Lines!!!

Did you try out to be an extra, and you didn't have that bit of suicidal ba-da-bing that our directors were looking for? Fear not! For here are 4 new exciting roles just opening up!

Acting in Gundam Wing has been linked to sudden seizures and loss of hearing. Memory loss and pyromania are common, as well as sudden twitching at the mention of the words "peace" and "braid". Do not ingest orally. May contain traces of peanuts. Do not use in case of hurricane. Make sure that your life insurance, PLPD, kidnap and ransom insurance, fire, disaster, and theft insurance policies are up to date. If you can read this, you don't need glasses.
    
    Thank you.

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Silvie Noventa

Do you have that sweet-as-pie-but-concealing-steel-though-you-really-look-like-you'd-scream-at-a-mouse look? And do you bear a grudge against Heero? Here is the role for you!

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*Preliminary psychiatric session required. (For any would-be assassins, we do not want you taking the gun and _actually_ shooting Heero.)

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*Life insurance required. (Just in case)

Firm in no way guarantees safety when working with one Heero Yuy.

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Quatre's Sister

Find and bind the broken Quatre, then give your life to save his.

*audition with Quatre required. Remember, you're supposed to be his _sister_.

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Harsh-sounding Military Dude Who is Killed by Une by Falling Out of Jet

Due to a failed take, this role has just opened up! Must have voice like a dying harpy and acting skills of a rutabaga. 

Voice dissent to Noventa's peace plan, live long enough to be dumped out of an airplane by the aforesaid Une. 

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* Bring your own parachute, we're low on props.

*do not deploy parachute too early, it ruins the take. And we have discovered that Heero hates ruined takes, and the firm in no way guarantees safety around one Heero Yuy. 

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Catherine

This extremely exciting role has just opened up due to an unfortunate accident involving knives. But don't worry. Reconstructive surgery is being applied to Trowa's bangs. 

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And now, for a quick and exciting bulletin that was just barely available at press time:

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There are more Extra roles opening up!

Student at Relena's School

Must be a young lady of strong constitution, able to withstand long-winded speeches on total pacifism. No word yet on if the school is all-girls. Aspiring actresses must be (or at least able to act) adoring of Relena.

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*hypnosis currently not available due to the fact that people need to speak lines when they are acting. Our hypnotists only have the skill to make people squawk like chickens, which would result in a failed take, and Heero hates failed takes. 

Sample lines:

1. "You're so wise, Miss Relena."

2. "Yes, Miss Relena."

And, as ever, we always face a shortage of 
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Random Soldiers, 2nd Class. 

Here are some new lines coming from the genius of our professional scriptwriter:

1. "It's a mobile suit!"

2. "Aaaiii!!!"

3. "That's a Gundam!"

4. "What's a Gundam doing here?"

Auditions will take place February 30th, AC 195, In the Cinq Kingdom. _Cinq Vacations: Get your tan from the sun not a gun._

Finis.

Relena: I'm glad that's over with.

Student: "You're so wise, Miss Relena." * passes out * * hits floor with a thud *

Relena: Dang it! That was the 9th one!

Quatre: FAAAATHEEER!!!!

Quatre's Sister: * wakes up * Awww! Quatre, don't cry!

Director: CUUUT! * sigh * now, on to take 563…

Duo: I want to push the harsh sounding military guy off the plane! No fair! Why does Une have all the fun!

Heero: * in his distinctive monotone * You rhymed.

Duo: ^-^

You have just read the second chapter of a fic of mine!!! Wow! Thank you!!

A Sing-along second disclaimer:

Gundam Wing pilots and all Heero's missions,

Round flying saucers and nuclear fission,

The bright sphere at night, that shiny round thing,

These are a few of my un-ownable things.

When the sugar's left, and the coffee's gone, 

And I'm feelin' bad.

I simply remember my un-ownable things,

And then I feel even more sad.

^-^


End file.
